June 3, 2020 Iris PhotoCollective

Exile at Home: Ellis Rua

I’m not a big streamer. Even when I’m in the mood to watch something, the thought of scrolling through thousands of programs and films makes me feel anxious.

It always feels like an important decision of immense consequence.

“Is it safe to allow the energy of this narrative into my life,” is often what I ask myself.

This pandemic is tricky. One is left with two decisions: find a mental escape or obsess over this current uncertain reality.

On the evening of Friday, April 17, 2020, I chose to seek refuge within the illuminations glare of a screen.

Transported into a world full of many conundrums, all but the virus, I find peace and serenity in space that is not my own.

Peace in the darkness. The warmth of a screen comforts my soul.

I secure this joy with my own two hands.

But when the film comes to an end and the credits begin to disappear downward in the direction of my stomach, the true reality slowly settles in.

The angst of my descent is always more consuming than the big decision of what to watch.

In this moment, you begin to realize that one must learn to shelter in place within the mind rather than a physical home.

Ellis Rua, Storyteller

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